Wife Swap

I received the following e-mail from the casting producer of Wife Swap. Although I told them my family was not able to participate at this time, I made the offer to pass along the request here in case any of our readers were interested. All the contact information is at the bottom.


Hi Joanne,

My name is Danielle Gervais. I'm a Casting Producer for ABC's Primetime show, "Wife Swap." I hope you don't mind me contacting you, but we're gearing up for a fourth season at the moment and we're currently looking for one-of-a-kind families with plenty of personality! Specifically, we're looking for parents who strongly believe in alternative forms of education for their children. Please feel free to forward this email on to anyone you think would be interested in taking part in this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

In case you are unfamiliar with the show, the premise of Wife Swap is to take two different families and have the moms switch places to experience how another family lives. Half of the week, mom lives the life of the family she is staying with. Then she introduces a "rule change" where she implements rules and activities that her family has. It's a positive experience for people to not only learn but teach about other families and other ways of life. Wife Swap airs on Disney owned ABC television on Mondays at 8 pm- the family hour!

Requirements: Each family must consist of two parents and at least one child between 7 and 17 and should reside in the continental U.S. (There may be other children living in the home who are older or younger than the required age…as long as one child is in the required age range.)

Participating in the show is a very unique experience that can be life changing for everyone. In addition, each family that tapes an episode of Wife Swap receives $20,000 as compensation for their time. Anyone who refers a family that appears on our program receives $1000 as a 'thank you’ from us.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this email and I hope to hear from you soon. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me! If you're interested in learning more, please don’t forget to include your contact information.

Thank you for your time,

Danielle Gervais
646-747-7956
Danielle.Gervais@rdfnewyork.com

Fun Monday Submission

I decided to take part Fun Monday this week. The question for this week is:

I would like to know, or see, what's on, in or under your bedside table! So open those draws and bare your soul to us! Is there anything special there that has a story or a memory that you can tell us about? Books that you keep there to delve into from time to time? Trinkets that you don't know where else to put? Let's see!


On both sides of our king size bed, my husband & I have two black, glass top tables. The one on my side has my middle-of-the-night must haves. My skin tends to dry out more when it's winter and the heat is on and I need my Lubriderm and chapstick nearby. Tissues are a must because I'm a sneezer. There's also an alarm clock that I hardly use. lol

My husband Billy doesn't really use his table. Our phone is there and a bear in a wicker chair that he gave me before we got married. That little orange notebook is something that we started over ten years ago. We'll write love notes to each other in it and leave the book in a place where the other will find it. Each entry is dated and it's been really nice to go back and read some of the things we wrote years ago. We keep it on that table until we want to write in it. That white basket underneath holds all the things that have to do with my mothers recent death. It has all the mass cards, sympathy cards, extra prayer cards, etc. Eventually it'll be boxed away but I'm not ready yet.

And for those who may wonder...yes, our walls are red. Our bedroom is done in black, red and mirrors and is, shall we say, somewhat x-rated. lol

New Award and Some Sidebar Additions

Silvia over at Po Moyemu gave us this very cool award! It's new home will be in the right sidebar along with some other awards we've recieved from fellow bloggers. Thanks so much Silvia. :-)

I'm supposed to pass it on to other bloggers. I decided to look for some of my favorite blogs that didn't have one yet, instead of giving it to someone who already had one. :-) In no particular order...

1) Doc's Sunrise Rants
2) Wired For Noise
3) Phat Mommy
4) Vegan Momma
5) Another Roadside Attraction
6) Warts And All
7) Relaxed Homeschool
8) Meanderings of a Gentle Gull
9) Second to the Right
10) Throwing Marshmellows
11) Learning in Freedom

There's a few other additions to our sidebar...

1) I linked to my post about Rewarding Children To Learn in the left sidebar under "Posts Of Interest".
2) I added the link my my sk*rt and Blogging Zoom profiles in the right sidebar under "Also Find Me Here".
3) My girls and are are taking part in the Creative Everyday Challenge and we've added the button in the right sidebar. I'll try to do a recap on the weekends of the creative things we've done each week. We're looking forward to doing this!

45 Things I've Learned in 45 Years

*~~ Today is my birthday and I'm 45 years old. ~~*

I've always enjoyed gaining another year under my belt. Even the supposed hard ones, like turning 30 or 40, were welcomed with open arms. I wore each year proudly, almost like a badge of honor.

This is the first year that it's difficult, but not because of the number 45. Difficult because it's my first time having a birthday without my mother here with me. (Actually, it's my first birthday without either of my parents, my father passed away 20 years ago).

Throughout my life, my mother & I always had a very strong and close connection. She was my mother and my friend and I miss her so much. I always shared my birthday with her because it was "our" day. I was what they considered a high risk pregnancy and she spent a lot of time in the hospital. I would buy flowers for her on my birthday, as a thank you for having me. This year I'll buy them and place them near her urn. I think that'll make me feel better than not buying them at all.

I've learned some valuable lessons so far and I look forward to learning more in the next 45 years. :-)

45 things I've learned in the first 45 years of my life.

1. Time may heal most wounds, but not all.
2. Love is not always the answer
3. Life is what you make it.
4. Real friends come through for you when you need them the most.
5. The public school system in this country sucks and is getting worse every day.
6. Unschooling rocks!
7. Hurt people hurt others.
8. We are all connected
9. Religion does more to seperate people than bring them together.
10. Hard rock is best served LOUD.
11. Biology doesn't make a family.
12. Chocolate does make things better
13. My mother was right when she said "This too shall pass"
14. People may try to hang their baggage on you...don't let them.
15. When people come together, in the wake of a tragedy, it's a beautiful thing to be part of. (RIP to all the souls killed on September 11, 2001)
16. Change is growth
17. Dogs are great friends
18. Don't listen to the attendant - lift those hands up when you're on a roller coaster!
19. Al Sharpton truly is a jackass.
20. There are times in our life when we just have to move on.
21. Always, always listen to your gut instinct.
22. Take responsibility for what you say
23. Take responsibility for your actions.
24. Sometimes revenge feels good
25. It's a good idea to take a deep breathe before saying something you might regret
26. Some people come in to your life for a short time but you remember them forever.
27. Never gossip about someone in a public restroom.
28. Doctors do not always know what their talking about.
29. DCF/CPS/DSS does not always have the best interest of the child at heart.
30. Learning is everywhere
31. Being the white parent of two brown skinned children, I've found racism in places I wouldn't expect.
32. I am a REAL parent. If you ask me where my kids real parents are, I'm going to slap you.
33. My kids are my REAL kids. If you ask me why I don't have kids "of my own", I'm going to slap you again.
34. People who say #32 and #33 are misinformed about adoption and have no idea what they're talking about.
35. I've never been mainstream or traditional
36. I have met some really cool people through the internet.
37. Being gay is not a sin.
38. New York City is the best place on earth
39. My husband will always be a 16 year old at heart
40. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission
41. Just because you've always done something a certain way, doesn't mean it's the right way
42. If I don't write it down, I'll forget it.
43. Animals deserve to be treated with respect
44. I feel at home in a book store
45. Life is short - make the most of it

Rewarding (Bribing) Children To Learn

I'm not a fan of bribing children to learn. Even before we removed our children from school, I hated what message rewarding them with pizza parties, candy and money (yes, money), was sending to them. These "rewards" were held out in front the students like a dangling carrot, with the promise that it could be theirs if they learned what the school wanted them to learn.

The message? I believe it's two-fold.

1) If someone had to bribe me to do something, my first thought would be "It must be unpleasent if you have to bribe me to do it". When my middle child was in school, they were always trying different bribes/rewards to make her read more. It wasn't working and the more they tried, the more she hated reading. "But we'll give you candy!". She read for the candy and then stopped when there was no more. "But we'll give you a prize". She read for the prize and then stopped when the prizes ran out. They didn't realise (or didn't care) they were sending her a message that reading is so horrible that she would only want to do it for candy and prizes.

Fast forward four years to right now. The last few years that she has been out of school, she's had the freedom to read if she wants to. There are no bribes. Just shelves and shelves of interesting books for her to read, when she's ready and if she chooses. Nowadays, she reads for 3-4 hours a day, because she enjoys it. Ask her what her favorite activites are and reading is always in the top three. It took about a year of deschooling for her to get to that point.

This past summer, a schooled friend came over and my daughter was very excited to tell her about a book she had just read. Her friend said "You have to read in the summer??" My daughter was confused and caught off guard. Her friend went on to ask "What are you getting for reading that book?" My daughter said that she read the book because she enjoyed it. Her friend looked at her like she had two heads.

2) Food and candy were often used as bribes when my girls were in school. Pizza, chocolate, candy and ice cream were used time and time again to get the students to learn something that the school assumed the students would not want to learn on their own. I believe this sets them up with an unhealthy view of food. If a child has their candy contolled and then used as a reward, how else will they react other than trying to eat as much as possible when they have the chance? You see those kids at birthday paties, standing by the chips or candy, eating as much as possible. I've had children come to my house and finish a whole bowl of m&m's that were meant for everybody. It's sad. Don't schools (and parents who do this) see that their giving that candy or pizza too much power?



Not only do I never use food as a bribe, my girls don't have their food controlled. It took lots of discussions and modeling on my part to get to this point but I now have a nine and twelve year old with a healtheir outlook of food than most adults I meet. When we first adopted them, my middle daughter was that child hovering near the chips at a birthday party. She was the one who gorged herself on candy in fear there would be no more. So when a parent says "If I let them, they'll eat candy all day", I agree because if a child has their candy controlled and doled out only as rewards, yes, they will try to eat as much as they can get. Can you blame them?

If children are given the freedom to learn things as they come up naturally in life, there's no need to bribe them with the promise of a reward to force them to learn something when they're not ready. I believe that rewards motivate students to get rewards, not to learn.

*originally written in 2006-updated in 2008*

how children learn