Mom, Would You Mind If I Failed?

That's what my daughter Shawna asked me last night.

My daughters take CCD classes at the catholic church near us. (don't ask me what CCD stands for because I have no idea) This is the church we recently had my mothers funeral service at. For any new visitors who don't know much about me, I was raised Roman Catholic but have been agnostic my whole adult life (I've recently become drawn to Buddhism but that's more of a way of life rather than a religion). After adopting our three children, I wanted them to have an "official" religion so I had them baptized Catholic. They started CCD so they could do their first holy communion but then they didn't go back the following year because they said it was boring - which is how I remember it being when I used to have to go as a kid. They decided to go back again this year and give it another go. They're free to choose their own path and I would actually prefer them to form their own opinions and values before being influenced by those of a religion (any religion).


In Shawna's class they were supposed to memorize the ten commandments, in order and then be tested on it. She was kind of stressing about it (I didn't know that she was anxious about it) and that's when she asked me "Mom, would you mind if I failed"?

I told her my feelings on being tested were that all it proves is you were able to memorize the material, it doesn't prove that you learned anything. I told her that if the ten commandments meant something to her then it was more important to live them, not memorize them in order.

What would it mean if she was able to memorize them in their correct order?
That she was a good person?
That she was smart?

No...it would mean she was able to memorize some facts.

Big friggen deal.

My daughter is a good person.
My daughter is smart.

I love my daughter. :-)

On another note about this church...

Shawna decided to join the youth group. I was actually little hesitant because of something that happened to Cimion last year when he had joined. Cimion told me that during a discussion about how the "devil" shows itself here on earth and about evil, one of the kids said hard rock bands. Cimion told me that he actually thought the kid was joking but when the kid said "...bands like Godsmack" (We're big rock fans in our house and one of our favorite bands is Godsmack.) Cimion told the kid that wasn't true and that he should listen to their music before making judgements. When Cimion came home and told me, it opened up a whole discussion about real evil...like child molesters and people that torture animals.

So I was a little hesitant but she wanted to try it. Her first day there, Billy called me to say that the leader of the youth group told him that after the meeting, she and the kids would be walking up to the highway and holding up signs in protest of abortion.


My daughter is only 12. Abortion is not a high priority in her life right now and it sure isn't something she feels so strongly about that she would hold up signs in protest over.

I myself am pro-choice. I have strong opinions on things like abortion, homesexuality and organized religion, and although I share my views with my children, I respect their right to form their own set of beliefs.

And I expect others to treat my kids the same. Until my daughter has formed her own opinion about abortion, I don't want her blindly follow what anyone else tells her.

I called the church and left word that Shawna was not to participate and that I would be by to pick her up. I told the leader how I felt and that if it was going to be a problem, I would take Shawna out. I also recommended to her that trips to the senior center or hospitals may be a little more Shawna's speed. LOL She said she understood and that Shawna was welcome to stay.