Resiliency in children

Have you ever heard someone say, or said it yourself, that "kids are resilient"? Meaning that they can go through truama and stress and be able to bounce back and learn to adjust?
I've always disliked blanket statements about any group of people but this one has irked me ever since I adopted my kids and it's been on my mind for a while now.

In our adoption case workers office, there was a poster that read:

"Behavior is the language of a childs emotion".

Behavior.
That's how they show us...we have to understand and listen to their language.
They use behavior...not words.

Some kids isolate themselves, withdraw and stuff their feelings down.
They may try to hurt themselves.
Other kids may become violent and try to hurt others.
Some may become needy and afraid to be alone.
Others become the "perfect" child, wanting to please others and needing approval.
There are so many behaviors that a child may use to express their emotions.

Using my two oldest children as an example, they were traumatized several times throughout their lives.
My son "adjusted" to his trauma by keeping all this emotions stuffed down and when they came to close to the surface, he would hurt himself. During the past two years, we've tried to give him better ways to handle his strong emotions and at the same time, create an atmosphere where he can heal.

My daughter (the older one) "adjusted" by becoming emotionally needy and very controlling. She hurt others the way she had been hurt. During the past two years, we've had to be very consistant with her, always keeping our word and following through with promises. This has enabled her to slowly build up trust in us.

Make no mistake about it, they were not being resilient. They were hurting and they were learning to suppress their emotions and distrust others.

It's easy to just casually say "Oh, they'll get over it, kids can adjust". It's an easy way out. It takes the responsibilty off us, as parents and as a society, to take them, and their feelings, seriously.
When we take their hurt and pain seriously, when we give them the space, time and support to heal, then they can start to "bounce back". But if never given that chance, it can lead to more severe issues later on in their life.

"Behavior is the language of a childs emotion".