12/12/2005

Homeschooling and Adoption

Homeschooling and Adopting an Older Child

My husband & I decided to homeschool our three children about a year and a half after we adopted them. At first, it was something I was curious about because it was different. I've always enjoyed exposing myself to, and experiencing, things that are off the beaten path and I found myself being drawn to the homeschooling philosophy. I began doing a lot of researching on homeschooling in general, it's different methods and found out what the laws were for my state. Billy & I started meeting with other homeschooling families and we were confident that we could do this.

At the time of our adoption, they were 5, 8 & 11. We adopted three children, siblings that had been in foster care for fours years.. After about a year, I started to feel as if we had hit a plateau in terms of bonding as a family. Sure, we knew which of us was not a morning person (Shawna & I), which of us didn't like eggs (Cimion & Jacqueline) and who could be counted on for remembering directions (Billy & Cimion), but I wanted more for us. I felt that we needed to start bonding on a deeper, emotional level. There were emotional issues that needed more private family time in which to be addressed. I knew we couldn't accomplish that with them being away from us for 35 hours a week at school.
And it didn't end there. After school hours, there was homework that needed to be done and tests to be studied for and teachers to meet with and over priced candy to sell. School seemed to have a way of creeping into our personal lives and stealing our family time.

So, over a four month period, we removed them, one at a time.

It's been a year since we removed our first child and the benefits of homeschooling (and also being free of the school system) continue to have a tremendous positive impact on our family. We would never have come as far as we have if our children were still in school.

I recommend homeschooling for every family that adopts an older child.
It can be done.

It's not easy though. Especially when most of the children adopted through the foster care system struggle with a variety of emotional issues. But if you've adopted older children then you're not the type of person who shys away from something just because it's not easy.

But, it can be done and you can do it!


(This post was the basis for a short article I wrote)

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2 comments:

Henry Cate said...

Congratulations on taking the step to homeschool. Family closeness can be greatly helped by homeschooling.

I remember that when my brother and I were young we did everything together. Then we went off to school and we drifted apart a little. We were always friendly, but no longer best buds. We've gotten a bit closer through our adult years.

My wife and I hope our daughters will always retain the close feelings they have for each other. When our second daughter was born one of the nurses strongly made the point that the longest lasting tie most of us have is with our siblings. Normally parents die before their children, and few of us meet our spouse in the first couple years of our life. The nurse pleaded with us to make sure our children always stayed close to each other. She helped open our eyes a bit.

Headmistress, zookeeper said...

We have bio and adopted kids, and we homeschool them all. we adopted our kids as an older sibling group (nearly 4 and 6), and I totally agree with you on how much it helps with bonding.

Excellent post!